how to truly start living again

| personal experiences with burn-out and tips on how to be more present in the moment & bring back the whimsy

It’s been a long time since I wrote here, primarily due to my unit tests that went on for two weeks & basically disrupted my carefully curated routines, sigh. The 7hr study seshes, the constant fear & anxiety about completing the syllabus, whether am gonna remember it all or not in the exam hall, the state of panic that sets in 2hrs before the test, waking up earlier than the worm-catching early birds just to do some revision, the constant need of caffeine and a lack of emotional support truly fucks you up.

My Muji planner and my iPad have carried me through these past 2 weeks and as a person who always likes to have a drink on her desk while studying, I truly believe that I can make cafe-style drinks at home, like be it vanilla latte, peach-iced tea, cinnamon-butterscotch cappuccino, iced matcha, like you name it lmao.

After my tests ended, I truly enjoyed this sense of peace wash over me, over the long-weekend. I was laying on my couch watching WorldofXtra’s new yt vlog on tv and suddenly sat upright when I had this epiphany, that these moments of true relaxation, this no-sense of urgency, the freedom to do anything at anytime, the joy of just standing in your balcony and looking at the scenery outside whilst the wind blows over your hair and it slowly starts to rain. Yeah. That’s luxury right there.

In a world so busy, even a leaf doesn’t stay still on the ground, I realised that I genuinely need to revamp my routines, because yes being disciplined and getting everything done especially when deadlines are close is essential, no doubt, however I don’t wanna live like this you know? I want to have a night-routine winding-down time before bed, I want to sip my tea in the morning while yapping to my mom about my recent purchase as a form of retail therapy, I want to have slow-mornings where getting ready isn’t just a task to accomplish in 5 minutes and have wholesome breakfasts that don’t just consist of me chugging down my coffee in a matter of seconds at 7am.

So here are some of the things that am applying in my life right now to truly start living it instead of constantly being in a state of anxiety induced rush:

1. Consuming less short-form content.

Instagram is truly devastating for a person’s mental health if not used in a mindful manner. So I deleted that app from my phone and now I just check important messages through my iPad or mac (on my friend’s suggestion). Maybe making it hard to access the apps that consume most of your time especially due to mindless doomscrolling is a surefire way to claim back your time & energy. And watching more of the stuff you actually love, for me it’s watching Anime, playing Genshin Impact, watching yt podcasts & vlogs, listening to upbeat & soulful music, having watch-parties with my friends.

2. Reading & actually engaging in other hobbies.

Let’s be real, all we really want is to finish that book we started 2 months ago, and I think the best way to truly do that is schedule 30mins or a one hour sesh to actually sit down & read, or else that book will just gather dust on your nightstand for countless months.

Today while reading The Midnight Library I realised that this is all we get, the finite number of years to live, to read, to experience all that we desire, so why not just take the chance and really just read, commit to learning the skill you’ve been wanting to master since so long, try out all the other hobbies that might fulfill your soul.

3. Create more than you consume.

I’ve been on both sides of the coin and still am, and I can truly testify that creating for your own fun is so much more satiating than consuming that endless brainrot content as reels & tiktoks. And recently I had this epiphany, that, maybe the true meaning of creating, is to fully express yourself without any self-judgements or the over-burdening pressure of perfection, as art is raw, real, human, full of imperfections, even the movies and the songs you love have a sense of imperfection in them that makes it even more relatable, because they were written and sung and acted on by the artists that are just as imperfect and real, people with human emotions yearning to find someone who would understand the ripples that are caused by their intense passion.

And when they put out that final product be it a movie, a book, a music album, a youtube video, a substack article even, they put it out into the world with the hopes of their echoes reaching the ones who were meant to be enlightened by the work, someone who would understand the turmoils in their soul, just by the way they write.

So create more sweetheart, and perhaps its in truly expressing your soul in your art that shall liberate you, from the torments of constant comparisons and give you a sense of freedom, in being true to your own sense of purpose.

4. Just be.

Sometimes all we need to do is just.. be. As we are human beings, not human doings, we truly need to embrace the silence that follows a good laugh, the moment of peace when the candle on your nightstand flickers with the wind while you’re sitting on your bed reading a good book as it rains outside.

Maybe we need to allow ourselves to be bored from time-to-time, to really just be in the present moment, without frantically thinking about the past or the future, without the constant need to overstimulate your brain with music, podcasts, reels, tiktoks, yt vids.

5. Stop over-analysing your every move.

Yes, as a person who’s been into self-improvement ever since I was 14, I definitely understand the pressure & longing of trying to become my highest-self or the “best” version. But truly that version is always your current version, as us humans are constantly improving, analysing our habits, optimising our routines, but when do we truly get to enjoy the “best” life?

When do we just sit down and reap the fruits of a carefully curated life? The answer is always & never. It really just boils down to your attitude towards the whole self-improvement game, if you’re constantly analysing yourself without giving yourself a safe space to make mistakes and learn from them, then the toxic productivity will lead you to burning yourself out.

On the other hand, truly living life consists of embracing all your mistakes and imperfections, its in genuinely accepting your flaws that shall lead you to becoming the highest version of yourself, someone who doesn’t hate on themselves for waking up late, someone who doesn’t spiral into a negative monologue when they skip a workout or miss a study session.

Constant comparisons on social media and the self-sabotaging habits are the main causes of burn-out in my opinion, and which is why talking kindly to yourself becomes the most significant thing to do. That reminds me of Dunbar’s number i.e. a man called Roger Dunbar at Oxford University who had discovered that human beings were wired to know only a hundred and fifty people as that was the average size of hunter-gatherer communities, like.. 150.. and these days having 150 people as your followers is looked down-upon on social media, the brain truly isn’t capable of storing all that data and it leads to such consequential comparisons between individuals, fomo, and other informational overload.

6. Express your gratitude.

Be it via writing it down in your journal, speaking it out loud on a voice memo or just silently praying, its so important to express your gratitude towards the beautiful life, the resources, the privileges, the people and the love & growth you encounter in life.

Sometimes, people like me yearn for the love we embody ourselves, and instead of truly loving ourselves, we just continue to search for that love outside, but its in looking inwards and genuinely being grateful to your own energy is how you attract more of it.

I love randomly gifting my friends cute lil presents that reminded me of them, its my way of saying “hey, I love u sm, tysm for existing” and it feels so good to have that love mirrored back to you in their efforts and constant love & support towards you. So this is your sign to text the people in your life how grateful you are to have them, and I pray that we all encounter more such amazing people and life just keeps getting better even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.

Anyways so I hope this was a helpful read and I truly wish that all of us continue to work towards the life of our dreams!! I’ve been currently obsessed with Sombr & Laufey’s new albums, you should defo give these a try <3

tysm for reading loves,

xoxo

Shreya