if you wanted to, you would.

| how to hold yourself accountable and re-ignite your fire for doing things when you've been feeling down

“If he/she/they wanted to, they would.”

You’ve probably heard this saying a lot of times by dating gurus on social media or well, your friends, if you’ve ever been in a situationship or a relationship crisis. But have you ever considered to turn it around and rephrase it as “If you wanted to, you would?”

My finals started today, and as any other student in the world, I was hyperventilating (jk) on my way to college and feeling quite anxious while cramming my notes. Good news, the exam went well, but for the longest time I had been feeling as if the world was gonna end if I didn’t study. I deleted Instagram to be more productive an in control of my life starting 28th Feb 2025, and yes I HAVE discovered the ample amount of time that i used to spend scrolling even when i didn’t feel like it, like an addiction almost.

I came home and rested well and then tuned into my fav weekly podcasts, one of them which is ‘Trying not to Care’ by Ashley Corbo. In the recent ep she talks about how we always expect SO MUCH from people around us, our friends, our family, our partners, our situationships and the list goes on, but when do we ever actually ever ask ourselves such as “Oh well I want to get good grades SO I am going to work for hard for it”, like its there in our subconscious but not really something we tend to be aware of, instead we just try to victimize ourselves by thinking “Ugh why do I have to suffer so much just to get good grades.” Now, that’s totally valid, sometimes low energy, deadlines and confusion about the syllabus does that to all of us, BUT remind yourself that you’re stronger than that, or atleast will be after a good 1-2hr nap.

This is a picture of my study desk and as you can see its definitely pleasing to the eyes, but I had been feeling so weirdly bored of studying here, especially because ever since March arrived, I was revising for my finals, and I was staying indoors most of the time and not getting any movement thoughout the day. It really started to impact my serotonin levels and the urge to not study just started intensifying, not to mention I oddly started fearing the exams themselves. However, after giving my first exam out of the total 6 and getting out of my house, today I felt some sorta liberation from the fear, the anxiety and the boredom, suddenly I wanted to get done with the exams, no matter how much effort it all takes.

And on listening to Ashley’s podcast, I realised that even though it is a hard pill to swallow, if we just give up on ourselves without ever actually putting in the effort to atleast try our level best into getting the outcomes we want, in this case ‘getting good grades’, then we would never even begin to discover our immense potential. So, sweetheart if you’ve been feeling like you’ve been in a rut, low on serotonin, then go outside and have an internal conversation with yourself about what YOU want, if you want Good grades then you gotta study for it, if you want a fit and healthy body, then you gotta work for it, if you want a good sleep schedule then YOU GOTTA PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN 30 mins before bed. Because IF YOU WANTED TO, YOU WOULD.

But just like you won’t give up on a friend who’s trying to do their best at something, you also shouldn’t be giving up on yourself babe. Its okay if you studied only for an hour, its still progress, its okay if you just went to the gym for some cardio, its STILL PROGRESS. Lets try to aim for progress instead of perfection all the time, because one day you’ll look back and be proud of yourself for never giving up.

sending yall love <33

xoxo

Shreya