yearning & detachment: a love story

| my experiences with yearning for true love & how detachment is the key to achieve it

somedays we win, somedays we learn & most days we yearn.

Last night, I was doing my night-time skincare routine when I heard my mom ask my dad whether the grapes that she gave him for snacking between his commutes to & from the office in the car, were sweet enough or not, to which my dad replied “They were absolutely delicious Chunnu (my mom’s nickname).” They kept on talking about their day, sitting on the sofa and all I could do was smile & admire them while doing my skincare in my room.

It made me realise that these are the moments I crave for when it comes to love, i.e. to listen and be heard when talking to my partner about how our days went, what all goofy or meaningful things happended to us, how many angel numbers I saw in a day and what they meant as a sign from the universe and what not. Honestly, all standards and boundaries aside, we all just crave for that pure love that comforts us, holds us when we have a breakdown & cheers us up in ways only someone who understands us intimately can.

pride & prejudice (2005)

Moment of truth, I’ve never been in a relationship and sometimes I even question myself “How does one even act or be like in a relationship?!” I’ve read countless amount of romance novels, enough to describe each and every kind of thoughtful gesture, be it big or small that my fictional boyfriends have done for their fictional women. They are obsessed, consumed and empowered by their women, not to forget the best one “I can’t breathe when you’re not near.” Seeing that kinda love in books, series, movies, and sometimes even real life, its hard not to idolize that sort of princess treatment.

One of my fav lines from Oscar Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Gray,

“I have given away my soul to someone who treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer’s day.”

We yearn for the true love, we yearn for those moments of bliss where you laugh so merrily that your head tilts backward and your lover admires you for just being the way you are. However, social media has ruined the way we see & seek love, now it feels as if everyone just wants a romantic interest to fuel the oxytocin levels in their bloodstream, to show-off to the world for gaining social validation that “Yes look at me, i have someone too!!”, to make it look as if all the flowers and the gifts are the only important parts of being in a relationship, by posting those ‘soft & hard launches’ but have people forgotten about the emotional support, the consistent interest, the un-conditional love that it takes to be a good partner for your love? I was so impressed by the way Benny Blanco expressed how he cherishes & supports Selena Gomez in this podcast episode of “On Purpose with Jay Shetty”. My fav part being when he says:

“I wake up, I think to myself, ‘How can I make Selena’s day better?’ like ‘What can I do in my day to make her day better’ because then that makes my day better, and I wanted to find a person like that & I know when Selena wakes up, like the first thing she’s thinking ‘How can I make his day better?’ like we’ve such a give & take. Like I could never even see a world where I would ever yell at her or she would ever yell at me, we never argue like that, we always have conversations and never an argument.”

And if that’s not the most beautiful thing, I don’t know what is, a love so soft, so gentle, so caring and so faithful that makes your inner child happy, what more could anyone ever ask for. One of the most important things that Manifestation has taught me however, is trust. Trust that all the things and experiences that you desire are on its way to you, consuming endless amount of couple videos on Tiktok and Instagram is not gonna make you feel any good, instead it deludes you to believe that there’s not enough love for everyone in this world, as if all the good people are already taken and you’re never gonna meet the love of your life, reinforcing a Lack Mindset.

Letting go of your limiting beliefs and healing yourself through EFT tapping, journaling, doing guided meditations, talking it out and just consuming good, helpful content in general is what will steer you towards Abundance as a mindset, believe that there’s so much more good people out there and many of them are a right fit for you in both spiritual and emotional ways. Trusting in the god’s or the universe’s timing is the only thing that can steer us forward towards all those things we yearn for.

Thanks a lot for reading sweetheart, am genuinely so so grateful to see so many people are willing to read what i write and loving it, you all have no idea how much it means to me, thank you so much for your support we’re now a fam of 350+ amazing people 💗

remember you’re always loved.

xoxo

Shreya