you don't need to be more disciplined

| because discipline isn't for everyone & what to try instead

As a person who absolutely despises being told to just be more disciplined, ever since I was a child, I’ve had the weirdest relationship with discipline and I think a lot of us might relate, to this feeling of ‘auto-pilot’ whenever we avidly follow a set-in-stone schedule or routine. I find it paralysing to just go about my day as if am a robot with no whimsy, emotions, varying energy levels and mood swings.

I think, the narrative that has been attached to discipline is to be blamed, because most of the time people on the internet tend to misinterpret the meaning, like I truly think discipline isn’t really just about being punctual, it’s also about truly prioritising your goals and dreams and showing up for yourself consistently. However most of the hustle culture followers and victims would agree that the term ‘discipline’ feels very detrimental in perception and brings about the most bitter form of nostalgia, the regrets, the days you weren’t “disciplined”, the days you chose to rest, procrastinate, cry, spend time on a hobby, went out, live and just be human.

This unhealthy form of productivity, where all you do is hate on yourself for not completing a few tasks, always calculating how to improve and then the loop goes on, we are humans afterall, we will have different capacities to do certain tasks on various days, we will get anxious due to immediate deadlines, we will feel stage-fright when giving a speech after a long time of not giving one, that’s human. However I’ve observed this in myself too, that I tend to runaway from this feeling of discomfort, instead of truly just accepting the stress and anxiety, gonna elaborate more on this later in the article.

The major question that comes up in my head everytime I feel the suffocation of discipline is “How the hell am I even supposed to go about life if discipline isn’t something I find compatible?” And the universe recently answered by recommending me a Youtube video called “The Art of Devotion” by Kela Rose where she basically goes on to explain how Devotion is a much more healthy way to approaching productivity, and I was genuinely in awe. As devotion really makes you re-think all your life choices. A structure is obviously important and running away from your responsibilities and tasks, is certainly not on the menu, but its in the way your brain perceives a task where the whole concept of devotion comes in like our knight in shining armour.

What is devotion and how you can apply it to your life?

Devotion as a way of life is a more balanced approach to productivity that actually takes your choices, your needs, your passion, your energy levels into consideration. It’s a subtle “I love myself and therefore I will show up for myself by doing this particular task that aligns with my goals and dreams.”

For example, when you know you gotta go to the gym today after consecutively skipping it for 3 days, instead of terrifying your brain with a strict “I have to hit the gym today”, something that’s totally discipline-coded and will probably make your brain go “Ugh this is such an uncomfortable and self-imposed task, I don’t wanna do this. Let’s scroll on our phones instead.”

Whereas, devotion is something like this, “Hmm maybe I should move my body a bit today, how about I do a silly dance on my fav song and then get ready to take a walk outside and maybe even do a 30 minute bicep or back workout at the gym, and ooh I can also grab a lemonade or a coffee on my way back home.” You see the difference in the framing of thoughts? Perhaps, this gentle way of reparenting your thought pattern is the coolest and quickest way to rewire your brain, to see life in a more positive lens than an anxious procrastinator lens.

I also realised that most of the time, starting is the most daunting part and we tend to procrastinate so we can delay the discomfort for as long as possible, but you know what has helped me get started quicker? Making a framework for the particular task or project, write down all the things you need to do in order to finish this project, doing this gives your brain clarity and clears up the foggy uncertainness of it all.

I have recently started writing morning pages upon the suggestion from the book am currently reading, “The Artist’s way” by Julia Cameron and honestly it has changed the way I look at my life’s happenings. By brain-dumping 3 pages first thing in the morning, my mind’s so much more clear since all the worries, deadlines, fears, stress has already been jotted down and ranted out onto paper. I sometimes also kinda guide myself through a problem and find solutions while writing the morning pages, so I’d highly recommend this technique to my fellow worrywarts.

As mentioned earlier, I was doing a guided meditation to relieve my anxiety the night before my developmental econs presentation and one important epiphany I had during the sesh was that, stress and anxiety aren’t really our enemies, they’re truly just here to protect us from the uncertainty and fears that we have gathered from our past experiences and we just need to sit with them, accept them instead of constantly being afraid and running away from them.

I imagined stress & anxiety as this blue & pink knight (tv girl ref?) and thanked them for always being there for me, trying to protect me in their own ways, and then I let go of them. It can take multiple meditation & breathwork seshes to truly let go of those fear & anxiety inducing beliefs that one has, but this was genuinely very helpful for me as I slayyed the next day with the presentation, ATE fr lol, defo gonna recommend guided meditation vids on yt. Here’s the one I watched that day.

So as yall know I love testing out hypotheses and experimenting, therefore, I will be applying devotion in the different areas of my life like studies, health, reading & writing, etc, for the next 2 weeks and truly observe the change in my behaviours and report about them in my next article.

Hope you enjoyed reading this one, and am genuinely sorry for not posting in the past month, I’ve just been so busy with project submissions, presentations and my studies,😔 I need a break fr.

I’ve been obsessed with these two songs:

Remember you’re always loved.

xoxo

Shreya